Brian!: August 2010

Today is the anniversary of something very significant in my life. My world completely and totally changed seven years ago today. Friday, August 15, 2003 at 1:43 pm was when my life, as I knew it, ended. I know that sounds pretty dramatic, but in all seriousness, that is the truth. That was the day that my life and my plans and my perspective on life and God, my faith in humanity, and just about everything was permanently altered. Some for bad, but also some for good eventually.

And want this to be a public declaration of something. I want to declare to anyone who might be reading this of something that Paul says in 2nd Corinthians 4:8-9

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;
Perplexed, but not in despiar;
Persecuted, but not abandoned;
Struck down, but not destroyed.“

That has been the theme verse for my life these past seven years. I am struck down, but I am not destroyed. Did you hear that? I am NOT DESTROYED!!!

I feel like I have been through hell and back more than once. What I have been through almost broke me. It almost destroyed me. It almost caused me to lose faith in God. It almost caused me to lose all trust in mankind. And maybe it did for a period of time. But it didn’t last. I am stronger now because of it. I am not destroyed. I am not!

For those of you who are just joining us, I do want to say that due to the public nature of this blog, I prefer not to go into specifics here as to what happened and all of the details. I apologize because that will probably be extremely frustrating to some of you who don’t know my story well enough to know what I am referring to. If you want to know more details, feel free to email and maybe we can talk privately.

I don’t know why things happen the way that they do. But I can tell you that even though I am perplexed, I am not in despair. I trust in God to make good from this. I trust God’s promise that they who hope in him will renew their strength and soar with wings like eagles (Isaiah 40:31). Do you realize what that means? Not just flying, which would pretty amazing in itself. But we will soar. Wow… what an amazing thought. Someday I will soar above this. I’ll look down and realize how insignificant and small it all was.

Right in the middle of the mess that I was in, my older brother diagnosed with cancer. And two years later, he died. I have only shared this with a couple of people too, but after he died that I really began to question who God was and whether or not this was all real. I mean, everyone kept saying how great it was that Jeff was a Christian and that he was in heaven. That I would see him again. And that was such a comfort. But somewhere along the line, I began to think that it would be really easy to create a belief system that allows us to see our family and friends again in a perfect place called heaven. Why would you not get on board for that? Sure, I’ll sign up for that.

But is it real?

Have I been believing a fairy tale?

When I was eight months old, my parents became Christians, and I was raised going to church since then. We were always at church. My friends were all from church. Every influential person in my life was a Christian. Why would I not believe that Christianity was real? But it occurred to me then that I never looked into this for myself to find out if this was the truth. I just took other people’s word for it. I mean, there are so many different beliefs out there, and everyone thinks that theirs is right. But we can’t all be right. It’s just not possible. Have you ever thought about that? I wanted to believe that it was true, but not at the expense of not knowing why I believed it.

I would encourage everyone to really think about that and start investigating why you believe what you believe. God wouldn’t give us his truth and then give us no basis behind it. He says that when you seek him with all of your heart that he will be found (Jeremiah 29:13). There is also a mention in the book of Acts of a group of people who were said to be of noble character because they examined the scriptures to check if what Paul was preaching was true (Acts 17:11). Don't be afraid to check this out for yourself.

Did you know that there is historical proof that Jesus did walk the earth? Did you know that there are thousands of ancient documents that contain parts of the Bible on it, and they all confirm that the Bible that we have today is an accurate depiction of what was originally written? Did you know that there is archeological evidence of many of the towns and events from the Bible? Did you know that the God of the Bible can be found if you seek after him? It’s not just blind faith in the Bible. He left us footprints to be found too. It’s all there!

And I say all of that to tell you where I am at today-- to give you a before and after shot. I’ve met people before who sort of wear their sufferings like a badge of honor. I hope I’m not coming across that way. If it was my choice, none of this would have ever happened. I’m only sharing it because I want to let you know how God worked in my life through difficulties. I think that God shows himself and teaches us when we are suffering and when we have nowhere else to turn except to him.

I lost so much seven years ago. I can say, without exaggeration, that there were periods of time when I literally had almost nothing except God. I’ve heard it say that God lives at the end of our rope. That’s where I was, and that’s where I found God again.

God is more real to me now than he ever was. My relationship with Jesus is more important to me now than it ever was. I always believed in Jesus as our personal savior and friend, but I have experienced that in a very real way. I have experienced God’s peace in the middle of the storm. I have seen him at work in my life and people that I have encountered-- I can tell you stories about some of the things that happened. I would not want to relive what I lived. But I can also say that I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I wouldn’t trade what I learned about God and the relationship that I found out that he wants to have with us. And as much as I miss what I lost, I wouldn’t trade it for what I lost. (Although I kind of wish I could have both. I wish I had what I lost and the faith that I gained.) But I guess God thought it was more important to have my faith in God strengthened.

I was struck down, I am not destroyed!

What about you? What do you believe about Jesus? Jesus says that it is an important question. He asked it himself to one of his followers (Mark 8:29). What we believe about him is a big deal to him.

Why do you believe what you believe?

Is it because you were raised that way?

Have you ever really investigated the claims that Jesus makes in the Bible?

This is too important of a decision to just take lightly-- it has eternal consequences. Who do YOU say that Jesus is?

I want to leave you with another song. This one is another one by Casting Crowns. There isn’t a whole lot of Christian music that I really like. But Casting Crowns actually has some really good lyrics to their songs. This is a very simple song, but it also talks about the journey that I have been through-- like I said, it is like a before and after picture.

Brian!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

August 15, 2003, 1:43 pm (also titled "Struck Down, But Not Destroyed")

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Stained Glass Masquerade